Essays

Hazy orange clouds above green landscape.

Between Perseverance and Surrender

At desire’s crossroads, whether to persevere or to surrender often determines the story of our lives.

Photograph of Downton Abbey in England.

How Downton Abbey Mended My Broken Heart

The popular series offers a rare exploration, and reassurance, of the nobility in a man’s pursuit of love. Even—or especially—when it fails.

Photograph of an old telephone disconnected from its cradle.

Whole-Life Premium

The unsettling experience of being told your life isn’t worth insuring.

Photograph of a baby's hand in his father's palm.

Nine Lessons for Mothers with Sons

Raising sons can introduce challenges for women that these insights can turn into fulfillments.

Photograph of a man with a New England Patriots T-shirt.

The Patriots Made a Man of Me, in a Manner of Speaking

Through football, a gay guy finds belonging among straight guys and in the process allows both to become at peace with themselves.

Photograph of a sculpture of Zeus.

Ten Biggest Myths About Men

Discover gender inaccuracies to see your guy in a new light.

Illustration of two men uncertain as to whether they should bond.

The Straight and Narrow

What if it turns out that homophobia is not about hate but envy?

Photograph of Rodin's The Thinker.

Ten Things Men Wish Women Knew About How They Think

The male brain is derided as simple, but there’s a complexity that is worth demystifying.

Illustration of hands together, one of which has an ulterior motive.

The Team Trap

Our glorification of the team in workplaces and in society may be excusing us from exercising our consciences.

Photo of a man holding up a forgiveness sign.

Can You Say I’m Sorry?

If the apology becomes a thing of the past, the future could prove unforgiving.

Illustration depicting the upward nod between men.

The Guy Code

Deciphering the mysterious gestures of male bonds.

Photograph of sculptures of people in poses of mourning and companionship.

Ten Ways to Prevent an Affair

Learn the underlying reasons people are unfaithful—and how to correct them.

Photograph of 19th-century men in chivalric poses.

Man Up

The lessons of women’s magazines might be better applied to men…by men.

Photo of two soldiers embracing in Iraq after witnessing an explosion.

What Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Really Protected

The military’s taboos around gayness paradoxically allowed it to remain one of the last bunkers of intimate male-bonding.

Artful photograph of a man's bare back.

Ten Sex Tips that Men Wish Women Knew

Freud once called female sexuality “the dark continent,” but if that’s true, then male sexuality might as well be the dark planet.

Illustration of a man watching a film with one eye closed.

Decoding Brokeback

The landmark film may have drawn battalions of women at the box office, but the ideas waged by it are powerful for men.

Photograph of a sad man regarding a blank screen.

Ten Things That Turn Men Off

Don’t think of them as turnoffs, but more as the things that will bring you and your man closer together…by you not doing them.

Sculpture of a woman reading a book.

The Newfound Fact of Fiction

When the real increasingly becomes the surreal, where does one turn for a dose of the truth? Maybe back to the original lie: literature.

Photograph of desert cacti.

“Grit” Isn’t Always Good

How do we know when to hang on…and when to let go.

Photograph of a sign for men in a shadowy bathroom.

The Coming Masculinity

Could hate crimes against gay men be less about hate and more about jealousy?

Photograph of a man's hands holding a mask.

Ten Things Women Can Learn from Men

If we’re lucky, our relationships become the best classes we can enroll in—and our husbands or wives our most transformative teachers.

Photo of wooden sculptures reading from tablets.

The Martyr Problem Among Nonprofits

Nonprofits tend to be excessively humble, and that’s a dangerous virtue.